*sigh* just realised i haven't on my xanga for such a long time.
I know. seems like time is not settle quite yet (for me?), i still don't quite get it.
But anyway, i will figure something out...

Anyway, it has been a month now since i have moved over to London for my degree.
Even I feel fine at the class and everything as I have some awesome ppl.
They are all nice and i'm happy be around with them.
But its just that sometimes I can feel like, things has been missing somehow.
I really don't where are these feelings come from, and still i cannot identify where those issues come from..
But in the way I term to sleep a lot these days. don't know why i just like to sleep and sleep. continuiously sleep...
Apart from the weekdays i go for d lectures, other times i just feel so sleepy. 
When I can't get on with my work from UNI, maybe go on facebook for a while.
But mostly, I just feel like i should live in my bed, I tried to stop, stop get too much sleep constantly.
But I can't stop, whats going off with me!? and i always wake up at 7 ish in the morning everyday from my landlord. but i still felt asleep until afternoon even i know its the time for me to get up.
why why why would I wanna sleep so much!? if i slept at 8/9 ish at the evening, this should be enough if i awake at 7 ish. but why i still wanna sleep more... !? WHY IS THAT YINGY!?

I know things still there for me to do.
I know this is not I usually do - sleep til V late.
But why I still doing this constantly!?
Please figure yourself out Ying Ying!!! :@
I'm getting mad of myself why don't I know what am I thinking about at the moment.
苦るしよ！　本当に苦るしよ！　何で私うかし？
本当に苦るしよ！本当に苦るしよ！　どうしよ。。。
誰か助けで、私わ本当に寂しよ、本当に苦るしよ。

"無論說得那麼不在意,那麼關注自己的生活也好. 但堅強的程度也留不長. 想念你,想和你說話,難道真的沒有機會可以做到嗎?"
thats one of the thing i have been thinking of it constantly, keep questioning myself constantly.
well. in the way. 自己已經有了答案. 但我是不知道的是, 因為自己是不夠好? 或是自己的問題.
是! 我現在是希望由朋友的起點出發去了解你,去認識多一點你. 但我就還沒有這個機會.
理所當然的是我是一個令人太討厭的人,  討厭自己的是那麼令人黑人憎, 但因為什麼原因呢?
你之前說過我是一個奇怪的人, 雖然我知道自己是這麼奇怪, 但這是其中一個原因你討厭我嗎?

真的不想再想這種問題. 如其說「不想」,倒不如說我「不敢」吧?

在看到你的那一晚, 我真的好想有哭的衝動, 但我停止它留下.
因為我不想用哭來面對你, 我想的是用笑容來面對你.
不是因為我只是想裝堅強, 而是我不想令你討厭這個愛哭的自己.

由我在UK咁內, 只有LUKE, 我姐姐 TARITA, 看到我哭.
正所謂 : Terms of "smile" - covers everything.
在都是我人生的字典上的一個有用之詞,
你不喜歡我哭的話, 我不會哭.
就像平時一樣, 看著天空每去LECTURE的時候, 對那道天空笑個後, 「我」就出現了.
我也討厭自己的沒有勇氣. 被人討厭之如同意也十分討厭自己.
不只是你討厭我, 沒法對自己坦承的我. 十分討厭.
高興的是你看不到中文, so this is going to SAVE (大笑)

希望「自己」快一點回來了哈哈 :)

recently I am listen Deep Ng's song, well his old songs. coz his old songs is really touching you know. he can be amazing sometimes (hahaha...) but yea if you are interested, please listen to his songs.. and his voice can be sexy when you listen to his songs a bit more XD

can't believe OCT this month is going to fast, even i can go to the college age conference @ wales this time. but may all the saints hear the speaking from the lord and may lord gain all the saints around the world each day lord. please bless more to the bro/sis who they are suffering at the moment. And we love you lord, and may you gain me more and more each day lord. shin on us lord and brighten us each day bit by bit lord.

i will try to post more stuff up some time soon when there has got more things happen :)

take care you all XD

yingy xxx